This year, Britain's entry for the European Song Contest that will take place in Vienna on 16th May, is a song written and performed by Sam Battle aka 'LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER'. An eccentric and inventive guy who is well-known in the synthesizer community with all his DIY instruments and often enormous, creative experiments that he displays in his museum in Ramsgate, like his wall of sound with a 1,000-oscillator-drone-synthesizer, his Furby organ and so much more.
A few years ago I had the pleasure to visit this place and it was quite an experience! I also briefly met Sam and had the chance to talk with him for a while. I was surprised to meet a man that is in real life pretty much just as he is in his videos; he doesn't play a role. But he is a really kind guy and with profound skills when it comes to his passion: music, vintage gear and vintage cars.
This is also evident in his song for the ESC, which is a highly popular and huge annual event in Europe. For the first time, Britain will be presented with a song that does not only have some foreign words in it, which would already have been a novelty. It has a foreign title. A German one:
"Eins, Zwei, Drei"
For many people this is a drastic break with convention. Even more people think that the song's lyrics are just crazy and utter nonsense. And others are complaining that the song starts to sound like a football chant towards the end.
Please allow me to present my analysis of this song, its lyrics and the video. It has a strong message – I beg your pardon for slightly overstepping the boundaries of our forum's no-politics-restriction – and I would like to explain why I hope that this song, which I consider as purely brilliant, will be the winner of the ESC 2026.
The lyrics
The lyrics of "Eins, Zwei, Drei" seem to be silly at first look. Not only for non-English people, but also to many British. Some parts are regarded as dadaistic and a sequence of stupid nursery rhymes. Strangely, because this is not often the case, I instantly understood much of the deeper meaning and I was baffled that this text got the green light. Let's have a look at it and I will tell you what I see in the lines.
[Verse 1]
"So sick of doing the whole 9 to 5
I pay my dues, I'm just stayin' alive
And I'm so bored of it, bored of it
Oh, what's the point of it, point of it? (Oh, ja, ja, ja)"
As represented in the video, Sam is singing about being fed up with his daily job as an ordinary working class man. A boring job that keeps him occupied for most of the day, just to have enough for the bare necessities. The first appearance of the German words are like a distant, but alluring siren's call, giving a first hint for the protagonist's longing for a remedy.
"A paracetamol to quench the pain
The office cubicle has trapped me again
Am I a mouse in a cage, am I
D-d-d-demotivational?"
Painkillers are helping to stand the pressure and the boredom. The office is like a cage and a treadmill. A rat race - in German we have the fitting word Hamsterrad (hamster wheel) – he is running on the spot without the chance of getting further. He is stressed, starting to stammer.
[Pre-Chorus]
"Ah, if only there was a language that I could count in
That would make me feel better (Oh, ja)"
Here we have the first use of the wordplay "to count in something". We will see that Sam doesn't only mean to say some numbers in a foreign language. He is longing for another language that he can rely on to escape his abhorred routine.
[Chorus]
"Eins, zwei, drei
Darlin', I need something salty"
This is where many people don't see any meaning in the lyrics. This might seem to be nonsensical, but I think that I can shed some light on it!
I have first-hand experience what British food is for Continentals and vice versa. When we visited England for the first time in 1996 or so, my whole family and I wondered why the British don't use salt like we do. The chips (fries) in all the pubs tasted good, but only after having sprinkled lots and lots of the almost non-salting white stuff in the shakers. On the other hand our dear forum member fuzzbuzzfuzz and his friend (both are British) asked me last summer at our meetup in Augsburg if it is common in Austria and Germany that all the food is so salty. Even the mineral water in Germany is salty for British tongues. Sam has been touring in Europe and especially in Germany in the last few years, so he knows my country and the food well at this point.
He proclaims "Eins, zwei, drei!", like someone, who is intending to do something that requires spontaneous effort, says "heave-ho". In an interview he confirmed that he shouted that in German when he wanted to lift a couch – this was the initial moment when this song was born. So with a 'heave-ho' he is trying to get his butt off, demanding for "something salty". He wants to break out of his British, boring life and taste something spicy – and may it be oversalted - again.
"Eins, zwei, drei
With a slice of pepperoni"
Here we might have another wordplay, because "pepperoni" is a typical 'false friend' for German people. If you order something with a slice of pepperoni in Britain you will receive spicy salami sausage. In Germany this sausage is almost without exeption simply a "Salami", but a "Peperoni" is always hot chilli pepper, like hot jalapeño pepper that can be ordered as a pizza topping. Sam has visited Germany quite often, so he might know about that. Maybe he has already ordered a "Peperoni Pizza" in Germany – to his big surprise in that case. So in this context, if he demands "something salty" "with a slice of pepperoni", he might want to say he is open for new and fiery (travel) experiences. But maybe it is just the salami and I over-interpret it, especially since it is unmistakably a "Pizza Salami" that is shown in the video during the bridge of the song.
"I'll pay, you can owe me
That'll be a pony"
Everyone non-British will now ask where the horse suddenly comes into play. In British slang, a "pony" is a £25 banknote. Sam and the listener (entitled as "darling" in the first line of the chorus) as some sort of accomplice are breaking out of the routine. Sam is so eager to do it that he is willing to pay for both of them, although it is 25 British Pounds for each of the two.
"Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life"
The taste of Continental (or German) food is making him wake up and feel properly alive again.
"Eins, zwei, drei
Got me feeling okеy-dokey
Eins, zwei, drei
Goodbyе drudgery, hello me
So light you can throw me
Kill at karaoke
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm coming back to life"
The weight of his boring daily grind has been lifted off his shoulders. Leaving the hard work behind, enjoying flavoursome food, he feels an easiness and weightlessness. "To kill at karaoke" seems to be another British idiom, meaning to completely rock the place.
[Verse 2]
"Countin' in English doesn't cut the mustard
So sick of munching roly-poly with custard
I'm so bored with it, bored with it
Oh, what's the point of it, point of it? (Oh, ja, ja, ja)"
Again, this is so British that you simply cannot understand it as a foreigner. "To cut the mustard" means that something does not measure up to someone's expectations. 'Roly-Poly' is an English dessert, a flat-rolled pudding spread with jam and rolled up, something so sweet that can sit heavily in the stomach, especially if you also pour custard on it.
This part of the song, despite the silly rhymes, is a real slap into the face of the British politics, if you just don't think about simply 'counting numbers' here. Without having the further lines of this verse you could think that you cannot 'count in English' anymore is restricted to the culinary adventures. But the next lines clarify that Sam means the political isolation of Britain, its withdrawal from being a part of the European Union and instead burning the bridges to the continent.
"I've always been a fan of aviation
I'm jumpin' on a plane to another nation
And all my pounds, they feel counterfeit
I need some euros to count on it"
Here we have the exploding tinderbox. Although Sam states in interviews that his song is about escaping the boredom of the daily routine and visiting European countries, it is a big punch into the face of all the (former) supporters of the 'Brexit'. His pounds "feel counterfeit". The British currency has for sure suffered from devaluation since the British voted for leaving the EU. Sam says that the money from the country that he lives in is of no worth anymore. That it all feels false. "I need some euros to count on it" leaves room for interpretation. He could, like in the previous line, simply mean the currency. A strong Euro, whereas a delicious meal in UK costs 'a pony'. But I have another conjecture. The "euros" could also be the European countries. Sam wishes for reliable partners on the continent that he can count on. This would mean a very strong desire for being a part of Europe again. An apology of an Englishman, going down on his knees before the Continent that his country has insulted and offended with their isolating politics.
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
"Eins
Zwei
Drei
Eins, zwei
Eins, zwei, drei"
[Chorus]
[Outro]
"Eins, zwei, drei
Eins, zwei, drei
I'm comin' back to life"
The video
In the video you can see Sam in work clothes at his desk, bearing his daily work. We see pictures of typical British food (in the first verse a cracker dipped into baked beans) and various vintage stuff like old telephones, an old Apple Macintosh computer, but also many other electric units from his museum. Lots of his exeptional and crazy builds can be seen throughout the video, like a picture of Henry VIII with grotesque moving goggle-eyes.
When thinking about another language to count in, he removes his clothes (a stunt with long tradition at the Eurovision Song Contest), presenting his overall with the "LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER" label on the back, thus converting into his real personality. The office walls that kept moving towards him are being pulled back, leaving much more space. In the background you can now see the huge DIY synthesizers that he uses for his music. On both sides people with vintage televisions as heads are playing on KORG MS-10 and MS-20 synthesizers, iconic instruments that are an important part of Sam Battle's music. (Actually I tried out Sam's MS-20 in his museum, before I was fortunate to purchase such a model with the later filter type myself. A powerful beast that Sam loves to use for his basslines. Sadly the KORG labels were removed in the final video.)
A nice detail when Sam starts counting in German is that he also does it in the German way, a detail that found its way into the Tarantino movie "Inglourious Basterds", being a crucial part in a certain scene. In Germany we lift our thumb for a "one", then the index finger for "two" and so on. Sam literally indicates that he is shifting towards the German mindset.
In the second verse you can see Sam working on his favourite car, an orange (of course vintage!) Mini 1275GT, an iconic car that is as British as nearly nothing else. He has his music gear (also his beloved KORG MS-20 again) attached to the roof rack. And he has converted his car into a plane by installing wings. Again we see pictures of British food. English breakfast in the classiest way with beans, bacon and eggs, plus roasted bread, sausage and grilled tomato, but not too deliciously looking in its polystyrene takeaway box (by the way: those packages and thin plastic bags – we almost don't have these anymore in Europe, but I saw them everywhere when I visited England in 2022!). A moment later the roly-poly with custard is dipped in the box with English breakfast, which makes you lose your appetite.
Sam is alternately shown driving his Mini with wings and playing and dancing around his wall of synthesizers, towards the end of the video chanting and dancing on his desk, kicking all the files that he had been working on.
In the end we can see the Mini flying over the white cliffs over Dover, sputtering red, white and blue vapour trails behind, like the iconic Red Arrows of the Royal Air Force, as the Mini heads for the Continent.
The Music
What I really, really miss in all the reviews out there is an analysis of the music that Sam plays. In my opinion that is important to see the big picture of the song.
It starts with a monotonous and very simple bassline, followed by a simple pounding backbeat, underlining the boredom in the video and the lyrics. It is done in Italian Disco style, very '80s and very much how Sam likes to play music.
The pre-chorus has some synth choir sound, making this short part sound pathetic and almost religious.
Then Sam starts counting in German. The beat is basic four-to-the-floor bassdrum pounding, then in the second half of the chorus a powerful and snappy sounding snare is added. The bassline played on the KORG MS-10 or MS-20 has added resonance and filter sweeps. Everything supports the desire to break out of the daily routine and to freak out.
Verse 2 and the repetition of the chorus are almost unaltered. The bridge has the pumping bassdrum, the bassline, though, is almost unfiltered and supported by other synth sounds of higher pitch, resulting in a very clear sound. The numbers in German are spoken, enriched by strong reverb, tweaked by analogue delays, making everything sound experimental, yet determinedly moving in a clear direction with the brighter sounding bassline. Other electronic and synthetic elements keep being added to the sequence, aspiring to the climax of the song.
Now Sam is proclaiming his "Eins, Zwei, Drei!" chorus in a cappella with another vibe. As soon as the beat kicks again you suddenly realise that it has transformed into a triplet beat. The song does now sound like a football chant in a stadium, something that is off-putting some parts of the current audience, because to them it adds a proletarian and negative connotation. But here we have the strongest part of the song! Together with the lyrics of the desire for a united Europe, this beat transforms it into a pure Pro-European anthem.
Towards the very end for two more lines of simply "Eins, Zwei, Drei", the snare leaves its position on beat 2 and 4 and is sounding on beat 3 instead, making it a half-time rhythm before Sam ends singing his solo "I’m coming back to life". The subtle change of the rhythm is for me a sign for Sam's arrival, for having found his desired space and state.